Let's Talk Squash - SUSPENDED

malaysian squash · Newbie Joined: 30 Jun 2007 Posts: 5

What's Ross Norman up to these days ?

hagesy · Heavy Contributor Joined: 07 Dec 2007 Posts: 28

Last i heard, he was leader of the tree people and was in battle with the smurfs for the city of glockenspeel.

he is said to be the best swordsman of the lands.

bendi36 · Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 5:24 am Post subject:

But the prophecy written down in the ages by the great merman Sezzletroth commands that before he can become the greatest swordsman in all the lands he must first conquer the smozzletroths, the kingdom of giants, the jews, and finally defeat the beast Eragon to gain the medal of infinity lives.
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If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite

bendi36 · Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 5:26 am Post subject:

It is a quest worthy of only Ross Norman to compete.
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If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite

malaysian squash · Newbie Joined: 30 Jun 2007 Posts: 5

RUBBISH !!

GOB · Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 4:00 am Post subject:

Ed · Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 10:36 am Post subject:

He was doing the Harvard Squash Camps for the last 2 summers, not sure what he does other than that.

Paul_SW_London · Prolific Contributor Joined: 13 Nov 2007 Posts: 82

I'm pretty sure he's still coaching and playing up at St Georges club in Surrey, London.
He came down to our club for for league playing at number 4 for the mens first team. Not bad if you ask me!!
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Paul_SW_London · Prolific Contributor Joined: 13 Nov 2007 Posts: 82

wasted24/7 · Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 1:36 pm Post subject:

I have never met or seen Ross Norman... I can only write what I've heard about him:

Ross Norman does not sleep. He waits.
This is the list of things Ross Norman cannot do. . (FYI Its the world's shortest list)
When Ross Norman sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Ross Norman has not had to pay taxes ever.
Ross Norman doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
When Ross Norman falls in water, Ross Norman doesn't get wet. Water gets Ross Norman.
When Ross Norman does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Ross Norman.
Ross Norman doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures that Ross Norman has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it is afraid to be on the same planet as Ross Norman.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet and under his bed for Ross Norman - TWICE!
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Ross Norman and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Ross Norman 3. Cancer
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Ross Norman.
Ross Norman's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Once a cobra bit Ross Norman's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Ross Norman plays russian roulette with a fully loaded revolver... and wins.
Ross Norman once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
Ross Norman can drown a fish.
If you can see Ross norman, he can see you. If you can't see Ross Norman you may be only seconds away from death.

But I've never met the man so I can't really say for sure.

Mad Dog · Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 1:53 pm Post subject:

That was actually quite funny!

I like the one about water getting Ross Norman. Clever stuff! Much better than your other drivel! Very Happy

wasted24/7 · Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 2:02 pm Post subject:

Know what the best part of waking up is...?

That Ross Norman didn't kill you in your sleep.

This is the list of things Ross Norman cannot do. . (Its the world's shortest list).

Adam Hildred · Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 10:49 pm Post subject:

Nice search and replace of the Chuck Norris quotes. Confused

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bendi36 · Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 12:41 am Post subject:

Ross Norman has counted to infinity... twice.
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If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite

wasted24/7 · Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 2:06 am Post subject:

nikon125 · Newbie Joined: 21 Jan 2008 Posts: 8

i play in the south australian junior team with his brothers son..

wasted24/7 · Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 6:06 am Post subject:

Ask his brother's son if Ross Norman has a reflection...I've heard he's so fast that his image cannot be reflected. He is too fast!

bendi36 · Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 10:47 pm Post subject:

When Ross goes for a swim he doesn't get soaked... the water gets ross'ed.
_________________
If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite

wasted24/7 · Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 11:02 pm Post subject:

One time Albert Einstein politely tried to offer Ross Norman a tip on his squash playing... we now know that man as Stephen Hawking. That's what happens to you if you critique Ross Norman.

bendi36 · Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 12:42 am Post subject:

when you critique ross norman you go from a famous mathematician to becoming a famous physicist with motor neuron disease???
_________________
If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite

wasted24/7 · Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 2:21 am Post subject:

bendi36 · Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 10:00 pm Post subject:

wasted24/7 · Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 10:43 pm Post subject:

All the books by Einstein/Hawking in the bookstore are filled with stuff about the universe, physics, quantum gravity, etc. He couldn't publish those as Einstein could he? To many people would have been suspicious, 2 Einsteins?? When it was really one Einstein/Hawking! That's why he changed his name to Hawking. Einstein did loads of brillian work...he's only popularly known for his theory of realativity. Go look it up!

bendi36 · Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 12:18 am Post subject:

Actually all of hawkings work besides his most recent is void. By himself. And it's in general agreement that all of his previous work lacks strength in scientific fact. And Einstien only did the theory of relativity. He did nothing else. You go look it up.
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If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite

wasted24/7 · Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 3:21 am Post subject:

I did look it up. The encyclopedia lists lots of work done by both of them. I'm sure there aren't a lot of people that could do work like that. And that is why he had to change his name from Einstein to Hawking. Same guy, just different physical appearance pre and post the Ross Norman incident.